Jennifer Yane
I do love the Kaiser Chiefs…
So, sorry, no blogging for awhile. And right after I promised myself I would, too. Oh well, if you can’t break promises to yourself… - wait, that’s probably not the best way to look at that…
Let’s start again.
In my defense, the following events have occurred since I last wrote anything (in somewhat of a chronological order):
- I started a new job at a new company after leaving my old company (of 13 years)
I was “the boss” at my old company and now I am new and don’t know anything. Which is okay, as it is my job over the next two years to learn what I need to and get up to speed. The problem isn’t with the job, it’s with me and my impatience - it’s really frustrating at times not knowing things especially having come from a position where I pretty much knew everything. Is it ego? Maybe a little. Plus I have an extra hour of commute everyday and have to get up really early which I HATE, but am adjusting to.
- I started my MS drug trial.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the study drug since I am having horrendous reactions to the injection drug, which I have to inject three times a week. And YES it hurts. And NO, in typical me fashion I didn’t really think about the whole injecting myself with a needle thing on a regular basis in any great detail until I actually went home and had to stick myself the first time and sat there in the bathroom thinking “hmmm, well, how did I get here, exactly, and geez this is gonna kinda suck I think”. And did I mention it hurts? It does. I wasn’t counting on that. I mean, I used to watch my Grampa inject himself with insulin and I asked him if it hurt and he said no. But this stuff I’m injecting (Interferon) is acidic and it stings like a sonofabitch. Now I look like someone with tiny fists has been pummelling my legs and stomach (with the blotches) but let’s face it, I wasn’t going to be wearing a bikini anytime soon anyway…
- My kid gets pink eye and shares.
So my kid gets pink eye. A normal kid thing to get. But mommy has a compromised immune system thanks to her disease and current medication, so mommy also gets pink eye. EPIC pink eye, for her second week at work, which is comprised entirely of meetings and meeting new people. Remember in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Mooney gets hit in the face and his eye is all swollen shut? Like that. Fantastic.
- Easter Sunday was a fucking catasptrophe.
So my mom came to stay over so she could watch the wee child hunt for easter eggs on Sunday morning. Which she did. Afterwards, though, she proceeded to have a stroke (at least that’s what we thought at the time, and without going into too much detail on past experience, we were pretty justified in thinking so) in the living room. The men in my family just stood there looking dumbstruck… This is kinda how it went:
Me: “Mom, mom, are you okay?” Then, out loud to myself “nope, don’t think she’s okay”…
Me, turning to my son: “Hey buddy, you can go downstairs and watch channel 20 if you like” which he is normally not allowed to do. Son runs downstairs at the speed of light – he knows a golden opportunity when he sees ones.
Me, turning to my husband and my dad, who are just standing there: “Dad, you need to call an ambulance. Husband, you need to help me get her lying down on the floor.”
Dad: “Are you sure, I mean, she might be alright in a few minutes?”
Me: “Yup, or she might be dead in a few minutes. Worth a call in my opinion so PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE AND DIAL IT NOW” (getting a bit agitated).
Husband, muttering to himself: “oh my god oh my god…”.
Dad, on the phone, giving me the instructions from the 911 operator. Husband, still muttering to himself. Son, downstairs, singing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song at the top of his lungs (remember, he’s seen gramma pass out many times and then come to fairly quickly so he doesn’t really get that anything major is going on, plus he gets to watch channel 20…).
Ambulance and Fire Truck arrive. Happy Easter morning cul-de-sac neighbours, hope you were awake. Son was very happy as fire fighters allowed him to play on the truck while paramedics helped gramma - best Easter morning ever in his books. Paramedics spill coffee all over newly steamed cleaned carpets while moving furniture in order to get gurney in that is now covered in mud from the front lawn (not that it was important at the time, but afterwards it was a bit of a pisser). Loaded mom up and off she went to the hospital; was doing much better when she left. Sent dad with her as he was not being useful anyway and told him to update me when they sorted things out. Phoned sister, had her head up there to supervise dad.
Did I mention that there were 20 people on their way over for early dinner? Did I mention that part? So in between trying to find out what was going on with mom at the hospital, actually going up there myself to make sure things were okay, and cooking dinner for 20 people (well, 18 because my sister and mom were now at the hospital), it was a bit stressful.
Yup, Easter was AWESOME.
The only thing that made it even better was a nastygram from husband’s father the next day basically writing us off for not calling them to wish them happy Easter. Funny, I remember that he has a phone, too… Then when husband emails to tell them what happened, do we get an apology? Nope. Somehow still our fault. Icing on the cake, really. Fuck him.
- The week after Easter Sunday sucked, too (aka Mom in the hospital for a week).
Super fun. Life schedule was modified to include going straight from work to the hospital each day to relieve my sister, then home to put kid to bed, then to bed myself. Had to drive to work so paid $32 in parking each day, then another $8 at the hospital. Someone had to be there with her because the doctors won’t come at a specific time and trusting my mother to remember what they’ve told her is pointless. She is still convinced they took x-rays of her feet – which they did not. Fun times.
Sometimes you just have to let the basement go to hell and your son eat his dinner in his racecar...
- Mom out of hospital, me in. Barftastic.
The day my mom was released, I promptly got either food poisoning or the stomach flu. To the point that I couldn’t even keep water down. Given the drugs I am on, it is very important that I don’t get dehydrated, so it was off to the hospital for me to get an IV. And then laying in bed. Happy weekend!
But really, whaddya gonna do? I did have some really good days, too.
The funny thing is, for a lot of these things that happened, that stupid Kaiser Chiefs song kept running through my head like a melodic mantra. I think it kept me sane. Because there’s nothing you can do in those situations. I mean, I guess you can just crumple up in a ball on the floor and cry and rock back and forth, but in the end it’s still going to be waiting for you when you are done having your meltdown and you’ll still have to deal with it all. Only then you’ll be tired from the crying and won’t be able to cope as well. At least that’s how I look at it.
Plus, I have a wee man I have to be there for no matter what.
I think that since I have been sick and have days where I literally can’t walk or get out of bed, it makes me grateful for the days I can. Even when those days are not great for other reasons. I look at it like “it could be worse – I could be having to deal with this AND have to drag myself around like Quasimodo”.
But don’t get me wrong, I’m still not going to the gym everyday! I’m grateful but I’m still a lazy ass…
