Well, it's 2015.
In fact, it's well on it's way to being 2016, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I have enough guilt about all the shit I haven't accomplished this year.
So here's the thing. I am going about my business, trying to be my usual, somewhat upbeat, mostly positive, glass-half-full-about-things self.
Note - I'm never one of those "OMG, how ARE you? I LOVE your outfit! You are such a WONDERFUL person! Isn't life just WONDERFUL! Oh yes, I am doing FANTASTIC, thanks for asking, and I sure do golly geez hope you are, too!" kinda people. I wish to punch those people in the face. Not all of the time. Just some of the time.
It's just that I'm getting a bit worn down, and that's sayin' something. And no, this is more than the usual "crap, I've got gum stuck on my shoe" kinda thing.
Too many bad things are happening to too many good people, and not enough bad things are happening to not-so-great people (read: assholes). And I feel there may have been some crazy, cosmic shift in the space-time continuum of goodness and badness and that karma is all out of whack in the universe.
But basically shitty things are happening to my peoples and I don't like it.
Things like separations after decades of marriage and kids. Like cancer in people who take decent care of themselves (way better care than most folks). Like sick kids and kids with issues that are no matter how hard you try you cannot help them. People who are excellent at their jobs being laid off with no hopes of finding anything soon and bills to pay.
And then there's all the crap on the news. Don't even get me STARTED on that.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???
Seriously. WTF?
Is it that I'm getting older? Is the world finally going to hell? Is society about to crumble? Or is it just a mass confluence of crappy things, which statistically should be followed by a period of really good things? I hope it's that last one, because my unflappable resolve is starting to flap like the jowls of someone in front of an extremely large fan...
Sorry about that mental image (probably something like this):
https://www.google.ca/url=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAUQjhxqFQoTCKuKsqz3g8cCFQYxiAodB_UPkA&url=http%3A%2F%2Flatidocreativo.es%2Fblog%2Ftadao-cern-fotografias-viento-graciosas%2F&ei=Bam6VevzD4bioASH6r-ACQ&bvm=bv.99261572,d.cGU&psig=AFQjCNFkP8_H9UzpdWt6-k18wXwL8EpVNQ&ust=1438382706853561
Anyways...
I was hoping that my first post of 2015 would be a bit more positive. Mostly because that would mean that shitty things weren't happening to people I care about. I am trying, desperately scratching, at what possible silver lining there is in all of this. For once, however, I'm pretty much at a loss to find one.
The only one I have, which is pretty self-centered, is that I am doing okay. I am tired all the time now from my MS (like, epically tired, but that is another blog post for another day) but I am able to walk, I don't have cancer, and so far so good with my treatments. My marriage and kid are great; healthy and happy. I have a great family, and while parts of it are struggling at the moment, I guess I'm lucky to be the support-er and not the support-ee. I have a good job and it seems relatively safe for the moment (but who really knows). I have fantastic friends. And I can afford to buy booze for the long weekend.
I guess the silver lining, sad as it may be, is to appreciate what you've got when you've got it.
I'm not super enamored of it, but I think my not-overly-ambitious personal mantra for 2015 may have turned out to be "enjoy the moment, it could be WAY worse".
Which is much harder than it sounds.
I'm going to aim for something loftier for 2016... :)
